The Top 5 Worst Relationship Advice Given To Me About Love

Have you ever noticed that when you are either on your very first “barely hit puberty” crush, your tenth boyfriend/girlfriend 2 years out of college or your third marriage that the “experts” have ALL of the answers??  Yea, me too!  I do not even remotely pretend to have all of the answers, but in my 35-ish years of relationship experience, I have learned a LOT.

I asked my husband and one of my sons what do they automatically think of when being asked for relationship advice and this is SOME of what they came up with…….Some I couldn’t publish because I am trying to keep a semi- G-rated blog here.  In fairness, I did laugh pretty hard at what they said but I attribute that to having a sense of humor that was severely stunted in growth by getting married VERY young and raising 3 boys and having been married a few times.  Essentially my sense of humor can be equated to an 8-13 year old boy mixed in with a nifty side of post menopausal wicked and there you go…..If Bart Simpson and Betty White had a baby – BAM!  That would be my sense of humor spirit baby 🙂

So, let’s get to it.  Here is my list of the TOP 5 worst relationship advice I have ever gotten…..

1.) Don’t go to bed angry –  Sometimes in my world that has seemed like such a tall order…..don’t go to bed angry….but what if (fill in the blank with whatever irks you to no end) that happened and I want to be angry?????  Going to bed angry is what you might choose in the moment and if so, that’s your choice but it seems a bit unfair when your significant other is left with a feeling of being inadequate or sad, so instead of just not going to bed angry, be angry if you want to be BUT the advice given by a couple that has been married 76 years is, it shouldn’t  matter how angry or sad you are, you don’t have to say anything but you always, always touch toes. It’s just a little reminder that I’m here and I still love you no matter what…….

2.) Love is blind – There are a lot of people who would argue this is true for those involved in the relationship but the truth is that those AROUND the relationship are not blind.  They don’t have a “dog in the hunt” so to speak so carefully and methodically  consider their input.  Consider that if nobody likes your partner, there may be good reasons for it. So if your loved ones have lots of reservations, don’t get defensive but listen to why they feel that way and then make up your mind.

3.) Don’t play games  – Really???  Oh yes, yes I say, do play games!!!!  Probably not the kind that you may be thinking but how about a good old fashioned game of Monopoly, or Cards Against Humanity, or the best yet “What do you meme“…..When you play a real game with someone you get a chance to observe how they  behaves under stress, whether they’re honest, how they handle those embarrassing topics, and how they handle defeat.

4.) For women – “go for the strong silent type” – While that theory may work when we want to binge watch The Bachelor or in my case The Food Network but research finds constant communication is the key to a lasting relationship. Don’t just talk about if you want to have kids—discuss how you will raise them. Talk about money—how you plan to afford things and when you want to retire. Then, once you’re married, communicate when you’re happy and unhappy, what feels good and what doesn’t, what turns you on and off. Don’t just talk about “surface” things, say what is there and do it with love 🙂 If the conversation doesn’t go the way you want it to, then touch toes……..At the end of all of this the sentiment is still the same “I love you no matter what”

5.) Don’t hang wallpaper together – I always found this advice rather odd….I thought it meant to literally not hang wallpaper together but then I realized that it meant, can you do the crazy hard things together and still laugh?  To me that is the TRUE mark of a great relationship…the fact of the matter is we all have to do the most mundane and sometimes not so pleasant things in our lives but if you can find someone who makes you laugh then you are golden!!!!!  The flip side is be sure that you find the same things funny or at least relatively close……If he thinks a whoopee cushion is funny and you don’t, it certainly won’t get funnier for you 30 years from now. I promise…….

So,now that I have gone over what I think is bad advice, let’s talk about what is my go to top 5 best advice that I would give anyone in a new relationship:

1.) Live -Live your truth.  Whatever or wherever or with or without someone or whatever else you can think of, just do you!!!!!  Just do you!!!!!  Some of the best 3 words in the English language is just do you……

2.) Laugh – ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS have a sense of humor (yes even a Bart Simpson/Betty White sense of humor works)  I have told my husband many times “make me laugh and you have me at HELLO”.

3.)Love – Simply said, love hard love often.  I don’t know if anyone else has had this experience but the older we get the faster things go…..we don’t know when our first day of something or last day will be so just love hard and love often and most importantly, LEAVE NOTHING UNSAID…….

4.) Eat – Food is love.  It really is just that simple.  Let me say it again….Food is love.  Feed your soul and feed your body.  Those 2 ideas are not mutually exclusive of each other either….Read my post “Fredericksburg – Our Way” and you will see how we were feeding our souls by getting out of town and away from work and also feeding our bodies by having the BEST hamburger in Texas at The Pig Pen in Albert TX.    Food is love……

5.) Everything in between – I know it sounds corny to some but embrace everything that is “in between”.  Is it annoying sometimes that you come home to dishes in the sink or dog hair everywhere, laundry not done, or dinner not cooked but I go back to rule #3 and love what is there for you because tomorrow may be very different…..and it could be in a great way or a not so great way….You choose!

Be safe out there and be kind to each other!!!!

Hash House a Go Go….

http://www.hashhouseagogo.com

I could end the blog here and those that have been there would get it but don’t worry, I won’t :))))

I rarely read reviews on yelp, yellow pages, or the like because I believe that there are many  types of reviewers but I will give you my TOP 3……I absolutely take friends and family’s advice on places to go but in the end, I would rather make up my own mind………Which “reviewer” are you?

1.) “1st reviewer”  –  never, never, never trust the 1st 2 reviews of ANYTHING!!!!!  Places/things/restaurants need reviews to get patrons but until somebody other than the “1st reviewer” goes they can’t get REAL reviews.  So, without a doubt the 1st 2 reviews for a new place HAS to be their mom/grandma or aunt…….

“We arrived and were instantly greeted by this handsome man who looks just like his mom, uhhhh….. I mean he was just handsome.  We ordered the sushi served table side and when it arrived there was broken glass all over it. I thought it was slightly odd but the broken glass added a crunchy texture to the otherwise brilliantly prepared raw fish by my handsome son….I mean by Beauregard”

2.)  The “ex” reviewer – This reviewer doesn’t care anything about the ambiance, food or anything else, they just want their “ex-boyfriend/girlfriend” to know that they are happy without them……

“The sushi was average at best but what made this place amazing was my other half got down on one knee in front of everyone else there (despite the fact that it was only our 2nd date) and sang Bruno Mar’s song “I think I want to marry you”….Some said that they heard dogs howling but I am certain they are just jealous that I was the center of attention……Would maybe go back…..”

3.) The “nothing is ever going to be right” reviewer…….We all have at least one of these family members or friends in our lives.  You may not openly admit it but you know you do……

“I went to my son’s restaurant last night and despite the fact that I loaned him almost 20 thousand dollars for this risky (never going to work restaurant) the parking was terrible!!!!!  We couldn’t park in the front space because of some silly handicap law but thankfully we got the space right next to it…..we still had to walk further to the door, but we made it inside.  We weren’t greeted in the first 2 seconds but were seated fairly quickly at the chef’s table. (The server said something about my son wanting to make sure no one heard me.  Well I’m pretty sure he said that my son wanted me to be close to him so that he could hear me but whatever)  The fish was raw and the rice was sticky….there was something green and grassy tasting and I could swear that the table behind us said it was “seaweed” but I am sure that my son wouldn’t serve that……I raised him better than that”

There are many more types but I am about to violate my promise to myself to not be long-winded so with all of that said, I will leave you with my review and you can decide which kind of reviewer I am 🙂

I have heard that Hash House A Go Go is normally VERY busy so we went today (Friday) at around 10:30am (after we picked Jeremy up from work) and there were a few people in there but we basically had the area we were in to ourselves.  I ordered the chicken and waffles with fried leeks (and maybe a house mimosa – C’Mon – you know you are into day drinking too).  Scott ordered the 2 egg breakfast with a pancake and Jeremy ordered the grilled cheese.  To say that the portions are HUGE is an understatement….They literally could feed a family of 5 but the chicken and waffle was REALLY REALLY good!!  The chicken has to be soaked in buttermilk because it was moist and yet crispy at the same time and the waffles were crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside…..fluffy pillows of goodness…..the syrup was pure maple goodness and the bacon….well what can I say?  Bacon makes everything better…..long story short?  I would absolutely recommend this restaurant if you haven’t eaten in approximately 5 days and even if you have….It is WELL worth the time!!!!